It’s 5.17 am and I’ve just slouched downstairs and slumped on the settee. Usually, I would be in bed right now, hoping for an additional hour or so before the kids wake me up.

But today is different. When I checked my phone, it was choc-a-block with notifications. The sort I had been expecting, but somehow wished would never materialise.

Numbly, I hold up my phone and look at the neatly arranged football kits on the screen in front of me. My finger is drawn towards one of the replica shirts. It’s the third row, second shirt it. Tap. Remove.

The tiny white shirt with the proud, blue cockerel disappears and is replaced by a grey silhouette with a white plus sign across the chest. Similarly, the writing beneath has now taken on the same grey tone, but the name is still clear. Kane £12.5m. There may be a plus on the shit, but there are no positives here.

Harry Kane has left Tottenham, his boyhood club; the club where he is the record goal scorer and joined Bayern Munich. Quite honestly, I don’t know how I’m feeling. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Confusion. Emptiness. Pure unadulterated rage.

Social media is awash with the same emotions, as fans of the club struggle to come to terms not only with what has happened, but the manner in which it has happened.

Anger is prevalent and people, quite justifiably, are lashing out – at numerous targets. I feel the urge to write, to get down words on a page to express myself in some sort of cathartic exercise.

I am aware that whatever I produce will probably not be the most cohesive things I have ever written, but it needs to be done. I’ll just address the different emotions and call it therapy.

Frustration. By the end of last season, I was almost done with the football club. Theoretically speaking anyway. In reality, no matter what happens (pretty much), I will stick with them. But this was a real low.

Yet somehow, somehow, by Wednesday 9th August, I was feeling positive about the season. Genuinely positive. We finally had a new manager that wanted to be at the club and had introduced a brand of football that could easily be described as relentlessly attacking.

Harry Kane

(Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images)

Unquestionably, the preseason games had shown the players had bought into Postecoglou’s methods and they just might be able to compete at the top of the table.

Maddison looked like an absolute steal and Yves Bissouma like an absolute star in the middle of the park. Most of all, our much-maligned chairman had rebuffed Bayern and Plettigoal time and again – apparently stonewalling their attempts to lure our star man away.

The toxicity, which was at boiling point within a pretty febrile fan base was apparently receding to some degree, and positive performances in our first few games would surely see the good times come rolling back.

But now, with this announcement, the toxicity has flooded back in a tidal wave of negativity. A tidal wave that could potentially derail the start of our season.

Anger. The Brentford game is literally two days away. Two *insert expletive* days.

If you are going to sell Kane, get it done early. Let the fans come to terms with the decision. Let the manager bring in a replacement. Let the team have a preseason to adapt to a new player and visa versa. Why, if there was the potential of the bid being accepted, did we let Ange go through the charade of thinking that Kane would be a Spurs player?

Postecoglou seems like a top man and could be an exceptional manager – but he has been dealt a bum hand here. He won’t show it, but he must be seething right now. The rug has literally been swept from under his feet.

Then there is the media. Constantly, trying to sell Kane – it has been going on for years, and they just cannot get enough. Peddling the narrative that ‘for Kane to be a real success, he must win trophies’. Pardon my language, but this is utter bollocks.

In fifty years’ time, people will remember Alan Shearer. Why will they remember him? Because there is a good chance that he will still remain the all-time Premier League record goal scorer. He will be remembered as a great player. Why? Because of the goals. His title with Blackburn will be an irrelevant side note in the annals of history.

Well, they have finally got their wish. Congratulations. Which player will they latch onto next, who has the audacity for playing for a club that they do not deem worthy?

Confusion. Why Bayern? Why now? Call me parochial, but I just do not understand the lure of the Bundesliga. It is a one-team league. And, if another team dare to threaten Bayern’s dominance, they have to surrender their best players to the ‘Bavarian Behemoth’.

When Bayern do win the season in nine months’ time, it will not be down to Harry Kane. They could continue to play Choupo-Moting up front, no disrespect to him, and they would still win – but maybe with fewer points.

If it was Barca, or Madrid, you have to put your hands up and go ‘Yeah, I get that’. But Bayern? Surrendering all he has for a club that has a half-decent shot at the Champions League.

But this is the point that bamboozles me the most. At the end of next season, he could have gone anywhere, and even the most ardent anti-Spurs fan would have to admit, every club on the face of the earth would want him. He could have given Ange a chance, and had it not worked out he could have had his pick. Why not?

Disappointment. Then there is Kane himself. Silence all summer combined with seemingly positive social media posts. ‘Ramping it *beep* up’.

Earlier this summer, I wrote an open letter to Harry Kane. Naturally, he never read it, why would he – but the principle was clear. Be open about your intentions. Do not indulge in a cloak-and-dagger operation to extricate yourself from the club. Do not mug off the fan base that adores you and sing your name week in and week out.

This is precisely what has been done. Personally, I feel like he has acted poorly this summer. If he wanted to leave, say so. If he found the lure of Bayern to hard to resist, say so. If he had lost faith in the club, say so. If he was fed up with the constant broken promises of the upper echelons of the club, say so. If he was sick of the club not matching his ambitions, say so.

We would not have been happy, but at least we knew where his head was at and could have empathised.

Pure unadulterated rage. There has been plenty of anger and dissatisfaction levelled at the board and those that run the club. Lots of it completely justified.

Throughout my time as a supporter, I have tried to be balanced, but the decision to accept a bid for Kane, when the indications were that he would consider staying is just totally unacceptable, especially at this late hour – at the very dawn of the new season.

Honestly, I do not care what the sum of money Bayern offered – it should have been rejected out of hand. The idea of conversations should never have been entertained. Kane may not have been happy, but like with the Manchester City debacle previously, he would have got his head down and performed to his best.

Many people may not agree with this point, but for me, you cannot put a price on him. But, yet again, the club has put profit before glory and the fear of losing him for nothing was just too great. I’m afraid that winning back the fanbase from this point may be an insurmountable challenge even for the tardigrade known as Daniel Levy.

Goodbye Harry Kane – a Tottenham legend

Emptiness. Once more my finger descends to the screen and I tap the grey shirt. The options come up: ‘Restore Player’ or ‘Select Replacement’. I know which one I want, but it is not an option. I choose the latter. I can’t yet visualise a season where Harry Kane is still an active player and not playing for the team I love –frankly, I don’t want to – but it is the reality.

We, the supporters, will get over it, like we always do. Players come and go, but Tottenham Hotspur and the people that loyally follow them will always remain.

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